Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Remember... NEVER fuck with a psychic!

If you know me or know anything about me you know that I’m not afraid to tell you a story about dickheads I’ve dealt with in my long, illustrious life and career and put it in clear, concise colorful phrasing. If it stinks odds are I’ll call it an asshole.

Recently I was reading a story online about how “The 9th Circuit refused to resurrect the claims of a parapsychologist and a publicist who accused NBC Universal of swiping their idea for a reality show featuring paranormal investigators. The alleged copycat show is "Ghost Hunters" on the Syfy Channel.” Here’s the link. The people in question who sued SyFy are in my opinion two complete con-men (or people) named “Dr.” Larry Montz and Daena Smoller. I had the misfortune of crossing paths with these human shaped hemorrhoids in the early “oughts” and let me tell you, they’re complete trolls and whenever they fail, my step gets lighter, I smile, a bell sounds, and a small little angel gets their wings.

 I had a company named Manifest Industries and we made websites (Weee!) and the other two guys who were in this company with me and our girlfriends at the time went on a “ghost hunt” at the Vogue theater in Los Angeles that Montz and Smoller ran. We spoke to them afterwards and we were going to make them a website. The scope of the details of our agreement are long gone, maybe it was to meet their entertainment agents, which is hilarious looking back. Boy were we dumb!

We made them their site. Time went on and one day our server went down so I get this super angry call from this Larry guy. He’s completely furious since he hasn’t been able to get through to the other guys I worked with (who at that time had gotten tired of his pushy bullshit and just didn’t want to deal with him anymore) and he thinks we’re messing around with him or just being dicks. I don’t know. He was just pissed.  He was a totally pushy prick who would boast about suing people at the drop of a hat. So, yay me, he calls me and he's yellinglike a fucking lunatic, calling us names and threatens me with perhaps the single most impossibly retarded thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Do you know who you’re fucking with? I’m a psychic and you never want to fuck with a psychic!”

I had to stifle a laugh. In my head I imagined a detailed and brutal scene of murder and carnage where I was cutting this fools head off with a dull handsaw. In this daydream I was covered in his blood, all the while smiling as he quits twitching. If this dolt’s a psychic, I thought, I might as well see if he gets this image. I was hoping, PRAYING that he was a psychic, and that the gore flooding my head detailing this bald fucks brutal demise at my hands would end his diatribe stone cold. Look in my head you psychic fuck bag, see who you should never fuck with...

He was such a complete fuck-head that we just gave him the site so they would just go away. We got some really angry emails from him and this Deana broad detailing about how we were assholes all and they eventually just went away.

Now and them I come across their names on the interwebs, usually it’s on skeptic websites like SWINDLE (quite apt), The Amazing Randi’s site, and finally this news page (I can't mention this enough) detailing their newest failure.

So here’s to the good “doctor” and his “publicist”. And remember... NEVER fuck with a psychic!

Hahahaha!!! Fucking douchebag...